Then the resentment kicks in. Why did I get stuck with a maternity leave in the dead of winter? I could have walked every day, losing the baby weight and inching away from the little bit of post-partum depression I have right now. Of course, I have only self-diagnosed. No doctor's visits or meds here, because I'm not really depressed...I'm just.....80% happy. I do not have thoughts about harming myself or my baby. I just wish for better days. Days where I don't have to try on 10 outfits in the morning to find something that doesn't give me a muffin top, expose my largest-they've-ever-been breast-us-es, or amplify my wider-than-ever hips. Days where I don't make myself go crazy wondering how many calories are in every bite. Days where I am secure with who I am, no matter what size or shape I may be.
Success and happiness take action, though, so I'll just keep on keepin' on.
2 comments:
I know the feeling, trust me. My body isn't close to what it used to be and I still don't fit into any of my old pants. I went out and bought three pairs of jeans in a bigger size, makes me feel better haha. We will get there!
I understand your feelings. I go through the same things... sometimes just crying in the shower. If you ever need to talk, shoot me an email -- tiffany at grimal dot com. Hopefully you can get outside and enjoy some of this weather!
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