Balancing Work and Motherhood

Millions of women do it. Mommy and employee. It's like having a double major.  You get rewards of both, but you have to work twice as hard. I'm not saying that stay-at-home moms don't work as hard as those that work outside the home. I'm just saying that if you want to be good at both, your attention has to be divided. Even before I was pregnant, I knew that I would go back to work. I am proud of the fact that I have a 4-year bachelor's degree and a 3-year master's degree. I worked damned hard for it, despite family and financial setbacks, and I sure wasn't going to give that all up to stay at home all day long.

Then it happened.

Katelyn was born, my maternity leave sailed by, and at the end of February I started dreading work. I was having fun getting to know my little girl, some days staying in PJs all day long, baking, keeping house, doing laundry...and on the weekends, I got to hang out with the hubby and girl and relax because all the housework was done!  Who would want to trade that for getting up early, being forced to look presentable, then having to head to work and function a few notches higher on the brain scale?

March 1st rolled around. A Monday, and I cried and cried as I drove to work. The waterworks lasted well into half of my morning at work. In between patients, I would go back to my desk and stare at the picture of my darling little girl, longing to be at home, nursing her and rocking her to sleep. Instead, I was forced to a cold treatment room with the pump attached to my chest, browsing facebook on my iphone as the repetitive churning of the pump filled the air with noise. Not my idea of fun 3 times during the workday. I couldn't wait to get back home to her.

Now here we are at the end of March. I've adjusted well, even with Katelyn waking up at 2 am, 4 am. My brain is somehow used to getting only 4-6 hours of sleep, as compared to the 8-9 hours it needed to function before. I've become more efficient, by preparing my lunches at night, doing laundry 2-3 times a week instead of once a week on the weekends.  (What the hell did I do with all of my time before?)

Work is now becoming a break from the difficulties of being a mom. For 9 hours a day, I don't have a baby attached to me, I don't have spit up in my hair, and I actually smell good. People come to me for help, and I help them. My coworkers miss me when I'm gone.  I have an AWESOME nanny. She's so great that she texts me pictures and updates during the day to ease my first-time-mommy worries.  I pick K up at the end of the day, and she grins ear to ear like she hasn't seen me in days.  Ahh, I love that sweet smile.

What the heck do I have to complain about?

Nothing.