No sleep + physical exhaustion= sick. Ugh.

I am on my 8th day of a head/chest cold and feel awful! Add to that caring for a now 3-week-old that is a bit congested too = bad mommy. I feel so guilty that all I want is for her to immediately go back to sleep after being changed and nursing. Hopefully, this fog will lift to allow me to blog a bit more with pictures of my cute, growing lady.

A Love Letter to my Daughter

Dear baby girl Katelyn,

You are 9 days old already! Daddy and I still can't believe how lucky we are to have a healthy, beautiful girl like you! We think you have my nose, lips, and cheeks and daddy's chin and hair. We were certain that you would be born with full-on strawberry blonde hair like mommy was, but it's more blonde like your daddy's was when he was born. Although, in some pictures, I see a strawberry tint to it...we'll have to see what happens! For now, you have blue eyes, but the pediatrician thinks you will have hazel eyes like daddy's. Oh, so many things to look forward to seeing!

Just like in the womb, you have your days and nights mixed up. I guess you get this from your night-owl mommy. You can sleep all day long and only eat 3-4 times, but when 9 pm comes, you are fussy, you want to eat every hour, and you go through diapers like nobody's business. (You definitely have your daddy's GI tract...ha!)

You only like to be swaddled from the waist down because you are very active with your hands, and you breastfeed like a champ. I love it when you're finished, because you'll latch off, half asleep, and give the biggest smile. Every time! Now, I know this is 99.9% just a "gas smile", but it's cute, nonetheless! I can't wait for the day when you smile on purpose. :)

You are coming to terms with the fact that I will not give up on you sleeping in the bassinet...the first 3 nights at home, you refused to sleep anywhere but on top of my chest, cradled in my arms, or in the bed next to me with my arms around you. Mommy never wanted to do the cosleeping thing, but to get some sleep, I've allowed it a few times . (look at you, already getting your way) Now, you've slept in the bassinet for 2-3 hours at a time, as long as we've preheated it with the electric heating pad and kept the space heater running nearby to keep you cozy.

I do admit, I've become frustrated, teary-eyed, and helpless at times...but I remember that the same things are happening to you. But if I take a moment to gaze down at your pretty little face in the midst of your crying fits, the tears I have are those of joy, because I've never been happier in my life. Yes, the day I married your daddy was incredible, but I didn't quite fall in love with him at first sight like I did with you. (Don't tell him I said that!)nYou are my pretty baby girl, my first born, my angel. I love you more than I thought I could ever love anything in this world.

Love,
Mommy

She is here!

Katelyn Grace was born on Monday, 12/7/09 at 10:58 am, 8 lbs 2 ounces, 20.5 inches, at 40 weeks 2 days. We are in love! I will update more with pictures soon!

40 weeks today and no baby, as predicted

How far along? 40 weeks and counting...

Total weight gain: 28 lbs (I was hoping to keep it under 30, but I dunno)

How big is baby?: who knows by now?

Stretch marks? Oh, boy, yes! Zebra stripes, thank you very much.

Sleep: Better since being on maternity leave. I've slept in until 9 almost daily. (I have to admit, even the crappy sleep I've gotten while pg will be missed once Katelyn is here)

Best moment this week: Today. I got to hang out with my loving, handsome hubby and loyal furbaby...we went out and got a fresh-cut Christmas tree, I had a yummy peppermint mocha, came home and decorated said tree, and then watched "Four Christmases" in peace and quiet. See? I'm trying to enjoy my baby-less time!

Food cravings: since Thanksgiving, pumpkin pie!

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: now 3 cm dilated, 85% effaced. Frequent Braxton Hicks.

Belly Button in or out? innie still

What I miss: Driving in my car without difficulty breathing. Getting up from the couch in less than 60 seconds.

What I am looking forward to: seeing Katelyn's pretty little face and finding out what color hair she has!

Milestones: Made it to 40 weeks...hopefully, I don't make it to 41!

Nothing yet

I'm 2 days away from my due date, and no signs of baby yet.

LeSigh.

I know that one can walk around 3cm dilated for weeks, but geez! I've been "favorable" for a spontaneous delivery for 2 weeks. At least I didn't take my OB's words (completely) to heart when she expected me to go at 38 weeks.....And the calls/texts are starting to come...baby yet? how's your progress? why isn't she here yet?

I don't know!!!

And Jenny---I know Patrick was born at 39 + 2, so you have no say in this. :) (Yes, I am a blog stalker...)

Love ya!!

I made it to 39 weeks! How much longer???

How far along? 39 weeks!!!!

Total weight gain: 26 lbs (haven't been on the scale since last week...I don't wanna know!)
How big is baby?: 19-20 inches, ~7 to 7.5 pounds

Stretch marks? Oh, boy, yes!

Sleep: Crap. I'm up 3-6 times a night to pee. My body pillow is flattening out. Tylenol PM has been a staple, I have to admit.

Best moment this week: Thanksgiving Day! I got to celebrate the fact that I have a healthy family, my baby is doing well, and it was my first day of maternity leave. Woot!

Food cravings: cranberry sauce and stuffing...appropriate, right?

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: still 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, 0 station. I feel like my belly dropped after 4 pm today (after my bout of nesting)

Belly Button in or out? innie all the way

What I miss: Shopping stamina. I tried the Black Friday thing, and it didn't last long!

What I am looking forward to: seeing Katelyn's pretty little face and finding out what color hair she has!

Milestones: One week from my due date!

38 weeks...almost there!

How far along? 38 weeks (pics to come)

Total weight gain: 26 lbs (I hope this slows down)

How big is baby?: 19-20 inches, ~6.5 pounds

Stretch marks? Oh, boy, yes!

Sleep: Crap. I'm up 3-6 times a night to pee. Getting up from/back into bed is becoming more effortful, so that really wakes me up. It takes me about 15 minutes to fall back to sleep after each time up.

Best moment this week: Working my last full week! Three more days to go starting on Monday, then my leave starts on Thanksgiving!

Food cravings: apples and cheese....perhaps preparing me for some wine pretty soon?

Gender: Girl...confirmed again at our 33-wk growth scan

Labor Signs: still 2 cm dilated, but now 80% effaced, 0 station. The doc says she'd be surprised if I made it to Dec 5th (my due date). Braxton Hicks contractions 3-4 daily. I officially feel like my pelvic floor wants to give way every time I stand up.

Belly Button in or out? innie all the way

What I miss: the tiny little kicks I used to feel...now they're huge, almost painful kicks and rolls that sometimes take my breath away.

What I am looking forward to: Our first Christmas with Katelyn!

Milestones: I'm still able to make it through a full work day. (but I'm ready for the break) Plus, the nursery is 99% ready to go, swing/bouncer are put together, my hospital bag is packed, and carseat locked and loaded! Holy crap. We're having a baby!

37 weeks

How far along? 37 weeks and full term

Total weight gain/loss: 24 lbs

How big is baby?: 19 inches, ~6 to 6.5 lbs

Stretch marks? Getting worse by the day. I finally got brave enough to take bare belly pictures showing my tiger stripes.

Sleep: up 3-6 times a night to pee. Tylenol PM is the greatest, though. Not having as much SI pain if I take a couple before bedtime

Best moment this week: Telling my boss that I won't be back to work after the 25th!

Food cravings: chocolate milk, banana smeared with peanut butter

Gender: Girl...confirmed again at our 33-wk growth scan

Labor Signs: 2 cm dilated, 70% effaced, 1 to 2 station (I didn't ask, but I'm guessing my doc uses a -5 to +5 scale); a few Braxton Hicks here and there

Belly Button in or out? still innie....I think (hope)it will stay that way.

What I miss: same as usual: sleeping through the night, walking without waddling, sleeping on my stomach, rolling/bending over easily

What I am looking forward to: Maternity leave, a nice martini

Milestones: Full-term!

36 weeks and I've lost (part of) it!

Glen is home from Florida, finally! My feet were missing his massages SO much! I went to our baby care/breastfeeding workshop today, something Glen had to miss out on due to the work trip. I learned a lot...but something else happened!

I lost part of my mucus plug today. This does not mean that I'm having this baby soon, but it is a sign that things are coming along! I'm 99.9% sure it happened since I had my 1st internal exam yesterday. Since noticing today's "loss", I've been contracting every 30 minutes or so...some are not bothersome at all, and a few are uncomfortable, like moderate period cramps and lower back discomfort. I'd like to say this part is "all in my head", but it's not. I'm fully prepared to go another 3-4 weeks without anything eventful happening, but on the other hand, what if?

36 week appointment and sick of work

Today I had my 36-week appointment, and all is well! My BP is normal, no swelling, weight gain perfect...1 cm dilated, cervix is softening, and the doc says that for a 1st time mom, that is great. Of course, I read nothing into the dilation part, especially because I know I could stay that way for another month +. But, the goal is to work up until Thanksgiving, and then I think I'll take my leave then. I've left that up in the air, considering that I wanted to save up as much sick leave as possible. This week at work was super busy, and my body is giving me signs that I can't live up to my own expectations for much longer.

I'm a bit bitter when it comes to work...luckily my days are fully booked with patients so that I'm getting in my full 40 hours. My productivity is the best of all 10+ therapists in the clinic. BUT: There are therapists who don't have full schedules, they stay on the clock when they shouldn't be (because they have time to surf the net and plan their weddings), have poor productivity, and end up working with 1/2 the heart that I do. And I'm NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. I should be the one with a lighter schedule and more breaks. I should be the one milking the clock. I should be the one who gets to roam the internet before I don't have time to do that anymore. But I'm not.

Why?

Because I'm dedicated. I care about the well-being of my patients. Even the ones who come to P.T. emotionally broken and just need someone to listen to their struggles because no one else will. Today I took pride in treating a patient with mastitis. I was scheduled to have the afternoon off after my MD appt, but the women's clinic called with an emergency request to see this woman. I'm the only therapist in our clinic who knows how to treat mastitis/breast engorgement, and could I say no? Could I turn my back away from a woman who can't breastfeed her child because it is so swollen and painful? Never. Yet all of my other colleauges told me to "just say no and take the day off". That's when I know I'm special. My job is not just a job. I truly care. My patient left today with the ability to pump more milk with less pain. Let's just call that a successful day.

My maternity leave will be sweet because I get to spend time with my little girl and learn as much about her as I can. My coworkers can just go to hell, but I'll worry about my patients the whole time.